There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
