Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
