Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
