Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
