she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
