You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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