I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
