Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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