i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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