i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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