I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
