its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
