Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
