I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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