It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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