She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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