Pants 0. Shit 1.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
