The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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