Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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