I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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