hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
smell my finger.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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