dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
