Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
