she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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