I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
