Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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