true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
