I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
