Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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