just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
