It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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