Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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