I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
