i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
