when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
