You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
