question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
