You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
