like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
