one two three fourrrrnication!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
