I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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