she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
