good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
