Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
