dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
