you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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