it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We talked him into tasing himself.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
