this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
