You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
