Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
This baby is an asshole
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
